This Is My Love Story…Not Your Average Fairy Tale

To say that Joe and I have been through it ALL, would be an understatement. We met when we were 19 and 21, but nothing became serious til almost six years later cause we were both really dumb kids. But once we got together, life moved super fast and I was pregnant in less than 6 months. Sofia was the best surprise that either of us could have imagined. She was and still is the light of our lives. A perfect little mix of us both, with a HUGE personality of her own. I remember thinking, wow, how did I get so lucky.

Since our relationship moved at hyper speed and my daughter took a lot of my time, certain behaviors went unnoticed and the signs of his drug use were dismissed as one time actions. I’ve talked about his addiction before and what it did to us, to me. How I had to just let go, and try to move on. I did, for close to a year. Butnone of those guys ever fit with me, the way that Joe always did. I never truly moved on. When he returned, sober and already working a program, I wanted to run and embrace him and have my family back. But I just couldn’t do it then. I couldn’t let go of the hurt so soon. Instead, he began to re-establish a relationship with Sofia, and I would see him almost every day. And then even against all my protests, I fell for him once more and we became a family again.

If this were a movie, that would be where the story would end. The “happily ever after” moment that we are all led to believe will happen to us. But I don’t live in a movie. I was happy that we got back together, but I was so hesitant to admit it to anyone. Totally not something you do when you start anew with someone. In part, it was because I didn’t want to be wrong again. That pain the first time around was unbearable and if it wasn’t for my baby girl, I am not so sure I would have made it through. But I was lucky, I had a great support system, and I grew strong enough to set boundaries for myself, and to accept that I this was the love I chose.

Eventually the confidence I built in myself in the time he was gone, and the support I knew I would always have, allowed me to start to let our relationship to heal. I let go of the pain and the anger and I took a leap of faith.

It’s been almost three years since we got back together. Three years of his sobriety, three years of counseling on and off, and our relationship is most certainly not easy. It’s work every day. It’s a process, and something we go through together. He’s not perfect, and neither am I. But we’re still here…he loves me despite all my craziness, and I love him for who he is, faults and all.

Comments

  1. Janet W. says:

    Beautiful story. It’s the ups and downs which make a relationship stronger and more solid!

  2. It is wonderful that he is sober 3 years. My son got addicted to drugs and we put him out when he was 18 because he refused to get help. It has been nearly 3 years for him as well, he has had some relapses, like the death of my mom floored him. What makes it harder for him is he is bipolar and for him the drugs were a way to level off and not be up and down. Finding ways to manage his own moods and behaviors can be tricky some days. The birth of his son has been a leveler for him, he often stops to think about how he would feel if it were his son he were dealing with in that moment. I am glad that you have shown they can get clean and stay that way and sometimes love is worth more..

  3. Alicia K says:

    beautiful. i feel the same way with my current boyfriend. we’ve lived together for 3 years and he constantly battles with alcohol. I love him…he needs therapy though

  4. Vanessa Aguirre says:

    You are so right relationships aren’t easy or perfect. I have one of those crazy fill with drama relationships that sometimes I just want to give up but I know that’s not the solution. I wish your family only the best and many years of happiness :)

  5. Maria Iemma says:

    I am inspired by your love and courage.

  6. Tammy S says:

    I think it is great that you found a strength in yourself and opened up for a chance at love. It takes a strong person to forgive. I am glad things are working out. You are correct that it’s not easy. I have been married for almost 24 years and we still work on our relationship.

  7. Bree Nelson says:

    I don’t think there is a such thing as a fairy tale romance– This is real life. And, yes, you go through sh!%! It’s what you do when it hits the fan that matters because anything worth having takes hard work and dedication. I’m so happy that things ended up for the best for the three of you. Love ya, girlie!

  8. Brenda says:

    We can’t help who we fall in love with sometimes! Love can be one of the most difficult experiences of our whole entire lives and I am glad that you made it work!

  9. The best way to stay sober is having a support system and he has you. You are both lucky to have each other. No relationship is a fairy tale, no matter what everything looks like on the outside, we never know what is happening behind closed doors. Thank you for being so brave to share your story, you never know who you helped. <3

  10. Rich Hicks says:

    Looks like you have definiteely had your ups and downs. That way with all relationships. Stick with it will get better

  11. Elle says:

    I doubt there is such a thing as a perfect relationship. Some of us just have more stumbles than others. But that almost always seems to make us stronger. Best wishes for you and your family!!

  12. Tina says:

    What a beautiful and inspiring story. I am so glad that he got help and is working on his sobriety and you are learning to give the relationship a chance. I know there are many struggles because I have dealt with the same thing. Your story really does inspire me to no give up and to work things out. Thanks a lot for sharing. I hope things go well for you and your family.

  13. Joni Mason says:

    It’s hard work , a daily struggle, but those wedding vows are sacred. I’m glad that things are working out for you two!

  14. crissi mcveay says:

    What an inspiration! your awesome! Best wishes for the future!

  15. Sarah L says:

    As someone once said: In a relationship you can’t have 50-50. Each person has to give 100 percent.

  16. Wendy T says:

    Bravo to all of you. Family is where it’s at.

  17. Holly S. says:

    I’m so glad it worked out for you; It sounds like he is “the one”. Stay strong and good luck!

  18. Arlene Whitfield says:

    What a beautiful and inspiring story! Thanks so much for sharing this! :)

  19. Sylvia Ortiz says:

    I praise you for not giving up. I have gone through similar situations, with my husband’s alcoholism, which “thankfully” came to a halt (and no one can believe that it could ever happen!). It was a very tough first 10 years of our relationship.

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